“He Has Aspergers” and Everything Else I Never Wanted To Hear About My Son

I cried… 80% of all she wrote was like my life.

Samara's avatarA Buick in the Land of Lexus

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Do you hear that?

Come closer.

That’s the sound of my heart breaking.

 

My son has always loved the ocean. His eyes match the sea, changing from blue to green with the swell of the tide. My love for him is an ocean, an overwhelming force which is sometimes calm and steady, and other times full of conflict.

A mother’s love is like the continuous miracle of the sea. It begins in the ocean of your womb – but there is something unsettling about the way your baby kicks. So fiercely you feel bruised on the inside. There is something willful and stubborn about his refusal to come out. He arrives weeks late, and even then – after almost 40 hours of labor.

Your baby is overwhelming and mysterious and brutal, like the ocean. He screams uncontrollably for hours a day, every day. And you bring him to one…

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